Are You Fluff Enough?
Gather round the campfire and light up your game night with Roast, the card game where the mallows are sweet and victory is sweeter. Will you roast the competition or see your plans go up in smoke? Watch our video to see if you can handle the heat of the campfire!
How To Play
Roast is two parts poker, one part Uno, and 100% dastardly good fun. The rules are simple: Roast mallows, make S’mores, and always feed the bears. To win the game, make as many S’mores as you can before the fire burns out. But beware: these mallows may look cute, but they're s'more than meets the eye.
2-8 Players
Ages 12 and up
20-Minute Play Time
Difficulty: 4/10
Grama and Grampas General Store.
Nothing says old timey family owned rustic goodness like the grams general store. The store itself is a cozy, welcoming place, with wooden floors that creak underfoot and shelves lined with a delightful assortment of goods. From fresh produce and homemade jams to handcrafted tools and vintage trinkets the grams general has a little bit of everything. The scent of freshly baked bread often wafts through the air, mingling with the earthy aroma of the farmers’ market produce.
Your one stop shop for any and all mallow based merch including the one of a kind patented GnG anti Racoon arsenal for protecting your precious trash. The Grams do it from mugs made on Gramps pottery wheel to hand spun sweaters from Grama.
Meet The Mallows
THE ADVENTURES OF LADIES MALLOW
“A sexy memoir for the whole family.”
Step into “The Adventures of Ladies Mallow”, a 100% true story where passion burns brighter than the fiercest flame and secrets lurk in the shadows of longing. In this enthralling memoir, every page is a journey through the intricate dance of destiny and desire, unfolding across lavish landscapes that heave with romance, from the opulent halls of hidden mansions to the wild, untamed beauty of nature, each chapter weaving a tapestry of struggle and surrender to a love that could shatter the world. Now, for a limited time only, you are invited to download the first chapter of “The Adventures of Ladies Mallow” for free and begin a journey that promises to captivate your heart and soul. Click the button below to embark on this unforgettable adventure and discover why "The Adventures of Ladies Mallow” is the romantic memoir everyone is talking about.
THE ELITE ENTREPRENEUR’S ALMANAC
Mr. Mallow
Founder / CEO / Visionary / Marshmallow
From the best-selling author of the most popular personal development book of all time “How To Win Chocolates and Influence Gram Crackers”, comes a revolutionary new experience so innovative, so forward-thinking, it can only be described as a paradigm-shifting, consciousness transformation. In this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, your very existence will be re-engineered to think, act, and succeed on a level that will bring you to the zenith of fiscal euphoria. Designed by a visionary business magnate so fabulously affluent, his financial statements are studied by aliens, this inner expedition will show you how to sync your financial strategies with AI-driven crypto investment algorithms that attract prosperity on a transdimensional vibratory wavelength known only to the most powerful and elite members of human civilization. Click the button below to receive early access to the pre-waitlist, mastermind community.
CHOCOLATINA
I’m looking for a man in finance.
Trust fund.
6’5.
Blue Eyes.
Captain Mallow
Fire Roasted Rum
Looking for danger? Enter Captain Mallow Rum— and brace yourself for an iron-fisted flavor punch to the tounge. With absolutely zero alcohol and a diabetes-inducing amount of artificial sweetness, this powder-keg explodes with the taste of fire-roasted marshmallow, dark chocolate, and subtle hints of honey that are just as tough as you are. Captain Mallow Rum — for those who dare to live life to the fluffiest.
King Mallomallow’s No-Fluff Retreat
Sick of overpriced spiritual journeys that promise the moon and deliver only moonbeams? King MalloMallow invites you to experience a different kind of retreat on the not-too-shabby shores of Isla del Mallow.
No Exclusive Clubs Here – Enlightenment shouldn’t be a luxury item. It’s not exclusive, and it's not sold out. At our retreat, wisdom is always available and completely free.
Yoga, But Not Like, Intense – Listen, we’re not saying you’ll become a master yogi overnight. King MalloMallow just offers chill classes that make you feel good without making you feel sore, which is cool, right?
Meals You’ll Probably Enjoy – You won’t find fancy five-course meals here, but you will get simple, fresh, and tasty food that does the job. Like, you’ll eat it, feel full, and hopefully like it. It’s edible, not Instable.
Accommodations You Can Live With – No gold-plated suites or personal butlers here. Buuuut… every room does come with four walls, a roof, and a door that closes all the way (wow, right?).
Gram & Gramps Survival Surplus
Good Citizens, the moment we've dreaded has arrived! We have intercepted and decoded an encrypted message meant for Racoon High Command and it’s worse than we could have ever imagined. Those unholy abominations of nature have begun preparations to overthrow our homes and enslave us all! But fear not, brave citizens! You can halt this furry apocalypse and save civilization with Gram & Gramps’ exclusive, once-in-a-lifetime Apocalypse Blowout Sale.
SREs (S’mores Read to Eat): Buy one, get one free, and get a complimentary can opener (because you’ll need it when the lights go out)!
Anti-Raccoon Armory: As seen on TV! The Ringtail Resistor—don’t just deter raccoons, send them packing with a non-non-lethal shock. It’s fast, it’s effective, and it’s only four payments of $9.99 if you call within the next 20 minutes!
Battle-Tested Barricades: Our raccoon-proof fencing and ultra-strong trash can locks are guaranteed to keep their grabby little paws out of your pantries and off your sovereign rights!
Hurry, this offer is only valid until the raccoons cut the power lines
One Fluff
Born on the not-too-shabby shores of Isal Del Mallow, Marley Mallow’s message is simple yet profound: in a world often divided, there's a universal S’more that binds us all. His music—rich with hypnotic calypso rhythms and infused with the laid-back, rastafarian ethos—has captivated the nation, turning him from a humble marshmallow into a symbol of peace and togetherness.
Now, you can join Marley Mallow on his musical journey to spread love and unity. His debut album "One Fluff" is available on Spotify. Listen to the tracks that are setting hearts on fire and be a part of the movement that’s reshaping the music scene one sweet note at a time.
“One Fluff is more than just music—it's a movement.” - Mallow Swift
Heralding All Rockstar Squires!
Are you ready to embark on a legendary journey, one that will test your mettle, challenge your spirit, and reward you with the honor of a lifetime?
Duties and Responsibilities: Tend to the Oven Knight’s noble Steed, clean his golden chamber pot, wash and dry his laundry, occasionally forage for nuts and berries, be willing to sacrifice yourself to help the Oven Knight escape from bears.
Required Qualifications: A minimum of 20 years experience in Chivalric Butlering, a double Ph.D. in Hospitality and Medieval Domestic Arts with a dissertation on the proper folding of napkins in the shape of a swan, and the ability to lift atleast 45lbs overhead.
Desired Traits: Enthusiastic team player who believes in family values and will sacrifice personal time and well-being for the greater good of The Oven Knight’s glorious mission.
Compensation: $7.25/hr and a pizza party on your birthday
Apply today with at least 3 letters of recommendation from former lords or quest-givers, a 10-page cover letter titled “Why I’m Desperate for This Opportunity”, and your best haiku about perseverance.
Hitmallow For Hire
A name is given
Payment in Bitcoin is made
A blade strikes silent
Anthony
Beardain
No Hibernations
Join Anthony Beardain, the roving gourmand of the woods, on his one-of-a-kind culinary journey through our national parks! In Anthony Beardain’s “No Hibernations," this legendary bear takes viewers campsite to campsite to sample the finest (and friendliest) campfire fare the wilderness has to offer. With his undeniable charm and insatiable appetite, Anthony sniffs out the best dishes from every cooler, backpack, and picnic basket, then brings his foraging skills and passion for flavor to create delicious "forest-to-picnic-table" masterpieces.